


超想见你 - Can't wait to see You

by huangjinguo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Online Dating, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Traveling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 05:50:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7156127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huangjinguo/pseuds/huangjinguo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yixing and Yifan get talking on Tumblr and decide to meet up one day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	超想见你 - Can't wait to see You

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the second round of Kissfanxing with some edits since I am a stupid idiot that submitted a work that was full of mistakes. Gah.

   Yixing wasn’t the type of person to do crazy and spontaneous things so when he boarded a plane from Changsha to Taipei, he felt like he was about to faint within the next five seconds. When he had found his seat somewhere in the back of the plane he fumbled his phone out of his pocket and typed a quick message:

 

_I just went through boarding. See you in a few hours!_

 

                He knew the person he sent it to wouldn’t be able to read it in the next hour since he was up in the air himself, but he still felt like he should give him information on what was happening. Or maybe he just needed to keep his mind occupied for as long as possible. Right when the message got sent, a stewardess reminded him to switch his phone off in about ten minutes, before she hovered over to another seat row to help a young boy fasten his seatbelt. Yixing sighed and switched the device off before he let it slide back into the pocket of his jacket. When the plane started to roll onto the field for take-off, Yixing closed his eyes and tried hard to recapitulate how he got here.

 

▪▪▪▪

 

                It all started with that Tumblr account he had created right in the first weeks of January last year. That was the beginning of a long road that constantly went downhill. His blog didn’t even have a real purpose – Yixing had opened it because he wanted to practice his English skills as he had felt like the regular classes at his university weren’t enough. Dancing was his passion so he soon had started to upload videos of his latest practices, nothing special really in his opinion, but somehow after his first post, his follower count started to increase. Somewhere between those first followers, Yixing had found Yifan.

 

                According only to his blog, Yifan had nothing in common with Yixing and the young man from Changsha had wondered why a guy would follow him who was only posting stuff about travelling and a shitload of selfies.  Nonetheless, Yifan came around when Yixing was still on his “I follow back” roll so they became something called ‘mutuals’ and in the first weeks their only communication had been them liking each other’s posts. Yifan was always one of the first users to like and reblog his newest choreography and he’d always use the same god damn tag: _# _nice__. When Yifan thought the movements were especially good he’d tag it as _# _niCE!!__ and it made Yixing roll his eyes every time. He thought this guy was the lamest dude on earth but he somehow had found a liking in his selfies and pictures of his trips, so while Yifan was appreciating Yixing’s dances, Yixing was always there to give Yifan notes for his face and pictures of landscapes and architecture.

               

It wasn’t until spring the cycle of endless likes and reblogs got broken by Yifan. Yixing hadn’t been feeling very well, since an old hip injury had taken its toll again and he went a few weeks without posting anything new. Some people had noticed and he got some anons asking if he was alright, and between grey display pictures he saw Yifan’s message.

 

_Are you okay?_

 

                It wasn’t a very long and eloquent message, but it was written in Chinese which made Yixing stop short because he hadn’t thought Yifan was actually capable of speaking the language. There was barely any personal information about the other guy on his about page and he only wrote in perfect English while Yixing was always apologizing for the mistakes he was making while writing. He typed a short answer, saying that he was fine and was just recovering from an injury. Then he dropped the question where Yifan was actually from since he had somehow assumed the other one was American. The answer came faster than Yixing had expected.

 

_Hahahaha, what, no, no no. I’m from Guangzhou, but I spent some years in Canada, that’s why I’ve got no problems with English. You’re from Changsha, right? Never been there, but I heard that you guys have that weird saying… what was it? “There are four million hot guys eating hot food in Changsha”?? :D_

 

                Yixing had rolled his eyes at the comment, but answered nonetheless which marked the moment they had started to actively talk to each other. Yixing had found out that Yifan was an international economics student enrolled in Guangzhou University and that he liked playing basketball. He could not eat spicy food ( _“But I hope that you still give me a chance”_ ) and was allergic to seafood. He had travelled to a lot of countries in his life, picking up one or two more foreign languages he could communicate in, even if he wasn’t that fluent. Yifan was single, his last relationship dating back two years before he came from Canada back to China. His mother had a cat, even though he was more of a dog person. Soon after the first message, Yixing could’ve been able to write a whole book filled with random facts about the other one. But then again, Yixing had told him everything about his life too. How he loved Michael Jackson and how the first music video he saw on TV had gotten him into dancing. How, despite being Hunanese, he couldn’t handle Hot Pot at Haidilao to save his life but had no trouble with biting into chilies that grew in Hunan and were famous for their spiciness. How he had never gotten out of China and only made it out of that city when he visited his family in Yongzhou. How he had fallen in love once, but never had had the pleasure of being loved back, staying single to this day – and how thankful he was that Yifan hadn’t made fun of him when he had told him.

 

                Despite their differences, they had more things in common than Yixing might have given them credit for in the beginning. They both liked to listen to Mayday and Jolin Tsai, which was a rather weird combination. They preferred summer over winter. They’d never try online dating sites because most of them were a scam anyway. Their worst subject at school had been Chinese because they hated learning poems and classics. They loved to eat watermelons and the best way to eat them was to cut them in half, sit in front of the TV and scoop one half out like ice cream. And just like this, Yixing considered Yifan his friend, even though he had never seen him in person and didn’t even know what his voice sounded like.

 

                Yixing’s other followers were lovely. Most of them complimented him on his dancing skills and his English ( _ _“It’s cute! Don’t worry about it!”__ ) and admired his facial features, even though Yixing did not think that he was that attractive. So when he had gotten his first hateful comment, he was completely thrown off track.

 

_You’re ridiculous lmao get your Chingchong ass out of here back to Korea nobody wants to see your ugly ass anyway._

 

                It wasn’t a nice feeling Yixing had to admit. The comment was hurtful, but he tried to play it cool and not cause any drama, so he published the message with a simple comment.

 

_But… I’m Chinese?_

 

                He didn’t notify Yifan about it, because he didn’t think it was necessary and went on with his daily routine of classes and practice, even though the words kept gnawing at him the whole day. He thought that his behavior was stupid – it was just one single person out of a whole bunch of people who followed him and thought that he was good. That had been a person that wasn’t even really brave because they hid behind a grey display picture so he should be laughing it off. But seriously. It hurt. When he came home he didn’t even want to open the homepage, and with a weird feeling in his stomach he scrolled through his activity bar. Of course his answer hadn’t gone unnoticed and among numerous likes and reblogs with comments like _“Wow anon, who hurt you?”_ he spotted Yifan’s reblog.

 

_BITCH **you** better get your ugly ass out of here. What went wrong in your life that you hide behind anon to insult people that have nothing to do with your miserable existence? It’s the jealousy, right? I bet you’re one of those fat nasties that sit around all day, don’t get their lazy asses moving and jerk off to anime porn in momma’s basement. So when you come across someone who actually has a life you get so angry at yourself you have to project it onto others lmao trust me honey the only ridiculous person here is you.  
First of all Korea is not the only fucking country in Asia (I know, shhh, take a moment) so get yourself a fucking map if you’re capable of reading. But then again I guess you’ve lost your brain cells somewhere between microwaved Mac ‘N’ Cheese and scratching your butt so you’re not able to read anyways because if so, you would’ve been aware of the fact that Yixing’s posts easily hit the 1K mark after like maybe 10 minutes of posting while nobody gives a flying fuck about your blog probably filled with screenshots of the latest Hentai you’ve watched. You were also aware of the fact that Yixing is a fucking gorgeous human being I mean if I was straight I’d still let him ride me like there’s no tomorrow LMAO BYE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE._

_#excuse me but what  #in what world is xingie ugly #no I don’t understand #do you hate happiness anon?? do you??? #like #he is the incarnation of a cinnamon roll #too good for this world #too pure #LOL I FEEL PERSONALLY OFFENDED BY THIS?? #you’ve got a problem with my friend you’ve got a problem with me homeboy #next time reveal yourself so I can drag your ugly ass personally_

 

                Yixing felt his cheeks burn at the last sentence and had to take a moment to convince himself that Yifan surely did NOT mean that serious. And even though he told himself not to interpret too much into it, he felt his heart flutter as he read the tags and the ‘xingie’, wherever Yifan had picked that up from. The fact that a guy like Yifan had typed that down was just really ridiculous but somehow cute at the same time. He buried his face in his hands and let out a small squeal, before he told himself to calm down. Then he sent another message for Yifan to read.

 

_That was savage._

 

                He didn’t expect a quick answer because Yixing knew that Yifan was mostly out having dinner or something around this time so he went to his own kitchen to make himself some Jiaozi. When he came back Yifan had answered.

 

_:*_

_Anything for you, Xingie~!_

                It was kind of absurd, Yixing thought. When exactly did it happen that he’d spend his evenings with his laptop on his lap, chatting with a guy he had never met in his life? Sometimes his roommate Luhan lurked into his room and asked whether or not he wanted to share dinner and one evening when he had walked in on him right when Yixing had read a rather funny story about a weird college experience Yifan had had that day, he asked:

 

                “Bro, are you flirting?”

 

                “Huh?! What?!”

 

                Luhan rolled his eyes and then clicked his tongue before he said:

 

                “You’re obviously flirting with someone the way you swoon and giggle all the time…”

 

                Yixing snorted and started to ramble something about “That was just really funny right now!” while he pointed onto the screen of his laptop which made Luhan only shake his head.

 

                “Anyways. I’ll be out for a while. See you around!”

 

                “See you!”

 

                When he heard the apartment door close, Yixing stared back on the screen, thinking about what his roommate had just said. Was he really flirting? Well, given the fact that Yixing’s flirting ability was just as good as stones could swim in water – but did he really show serious interest in his internet friend? He nibbled on the dry skin of his lower lip, while he slowly had to admit to himself that, indeed, he might like Yifan the teeniest-tiniest bit. And maybe, if he wasn’t getting his hopes up way too high, Yifan might also like him the teeniest-tiniest bit. It was maybe because Yifan was simply not so subtle about what he thought about Yixing after he had dragged that hate-anon. When Yixing read the tags in the reblogged videos, he often wanted to scream or eat his phone because Yifan was just - so - lame.

 

_#Mr. Zhang this is not okay #how DARE YOU #@ my followers do not click play if y’all don’t want to become sexually frustrated #IS HE EVEN REAL #i have witnessed magic #damn son that body roll #there are a lot of things I regret in my life #following xingie isn’t one of them #awwww look at him #like srsly he could do the Macarena and I’d be turned on wtf #YOU ARE OFFENDING ME GET THE FUCK OUT #take_me_to_church.mp3_

 

              He really didn’t know how to put all of this into perspective. And he wouldn’t dare to ask Yifan to clear the situation. Because when they talked to each other, Yifan was a whole different person. He was considerate and thoughtful, always caring about Yixing, always asking how he’s been doing. He’d ask him about stuff that Yixing had mentioned weeks before in maybe a small sub-clause that he never remembered mentioning himself at first. The dancer let out a huge sigh and plucked up some courage before he asked Yifan if, by any chance, he could add him to his Wechat to make their conversations easier.

 

_Wow I thought you’d never ask! My ID’s WuFan1106. :D_

 

▪▪▪▪

 

                When Yifan turned on his phone, the first thing he did was to get his device connected to the airport’s Wifi. It took him ages and he groaned in frustration, but when he was through the baggage claim, he finally logged into the service and got Yixing’s message. He smiled when he read it and typed an answer:

 

_Awesome. I just went through the baggage claim. I’ll be waiting for you in the arrival hall. I can’t wait to see you._

 

                When he stepped out into the arrival hall, he already saw Yixing’s flight on the monitor above the passangers’ heads. He was delighted when he saw the flight would land in time because he really didn’t know if he could’ve managed any additional waiting time. If somebody had asked him what the craziest thing was he had ever done, he’d probably tell them about how he, one day, had decided to meet a guy he got to know on a stupid website and how he had boarded a plane for that because they had arranged to meet in a city different from their hometowns. He didn’t even know if the meet up would be successful. For all he knew they could also spent four awkward days together and afterwards never talk to each other again. But he had felt if he wouldn’t even try, he’d regret it for the rest of his life. He pulled his suitcase behind him to find a place to wait where he had a good view of the people who stepped out from the baggage claim into the hall. And then, the final waiting began.

 

▪▪▪▪

 

                The moment he got the notification that Yixing had added him to his Wechat friends, Yifan’s heart had skipped a beat. There was no need to deny it, he was crushing hard on this guy who he had never even really seen before. It was kind of weird, he thought. He had always looked down upon people who used the internet to find love – he even had a friend that met his current girlfriend on Weibo, and even though the two hadn’t created accounts to specifically find love, he wasn’t convinced that people were able to find real love over the world wide web. But well, now it was his turn and he tried to be as lowkey about it as possible. He wasn’t though. When he had some time between classes, the first thing he did was checking his Wechat and if Yixing hadn’t left any new messages, he let out a small sigh before he went through Tumblr, even though he hated the mobile app with every fiber of his being. He’d often get mentions from his mutuals, and he slowly started to realize that he had kicked off a really questionable trend:

 

_Am I the only one who almost loses their shit when @MR-FanXianSheng and @ZYX100791 interact on my dash because I’m always like “WHY DON’T YOU GUYS KISS ALREADY” and then I remember that Yixing is located in Changsha and Yifan is from Guangzhou and when I check China’s map I realize how fucking huge this god damn country is and I start to cry. I’ve never thought that a country could COCKBLOCK ONE OF MY OTPS._

_#this is rude #everybody who feels the same RAISE YOUR HAND #i should just give up on shipping people because it always ends in tragedy_

 

                The number of notes this post had gotten ever since it had been posted spoke for itself. This girl who had been following Yifan ever since he had started his blog back in 2011 when he was still in Canada wasn’t the only one with that feeling. His cheeks started to hurt from the stupid smile that had crept onto his face as he decided to play along. Yixing would kill him if he had the chance so when he reblogged the post and added a comment, he was thankful for the distance between them for the first time ever.

 

_WELL THEN you guys need to fund me so I can buy a train ticket to Changsha and I can finally claim that nice ass. :)))))))))_

_#i take donations starting at 5$ #i demand a couple name like brangelina have #look xingie #look at that #people start to notice us #we’re meant to be!!_ _#when will you finally return my undying love for you and your body rolls?_

 

                Yifan thought he was hilarious. His followers thought he was hilarious. Yixing thought he was horrible.

 

                “Aiyoweiiiii what did you DO?!”

 

                Yifan snorted at the voice message he received after the last class of his day. He loved hearing Yixing’s voice. It wasn’t what he had expected at first but he grew addicted to the sound. He always wanted to hear him and his adorable Changsha dialect that he ever so often tried to hide. He failed most of the time, especially when he got emotional like he’d gotten just now. Yifan just simply loved the high pitched sound Yixing made when he stretched the vowels and he did everything to tickle that way to speak out of the other one as often as possible.

 

                “I didn’t do anything what do you mean?”

 

                “Don’t play dumb Wu Yifan! That stuff you said on Tumblr!! I have seen it all! I have read your tags! Don’t say those things if you don’t mean them!!”

 

                Yifan escaped a giggle, something that happened so rarely his best friend Huang Zitao who was walking next to him raised an eyebrow.

 

                “What the fuck was that noise? What happened to you?” He asked while they walked over to their dorm to get rid of their bags and afterwards get something to eat.

 

                “Huh, what do you mean?”

 

                Tao rolled his eyes and asked:

 

                “You’re acting strange. I’m not used to you being all giggly and happy all the time. You’re supposed to be grumpy and sarcastic. So tell me – what’s going on? Are you seeing someone?”

 

                Yifan put his phone back into the pocket of his jeans and contemplated whether or not to tell Tao about what was going on. He’d surely be judged hard, but on the other hand… Tao was his best friend and Yifan valued his opinions more than anyone else’s. He sighed.

 

                “It’s complicated.”

 

                “Do I know him?”

 

                “No you don’t.”

 

                Tao gasped theatrically and looked at Yifan as if the older one had just betrayed him and his whole family. Yifan ignored it and went on explaining the whole situation. When he had ended, they had reached their dorm and Tao tried hard to process all the new information.

 

                “So. You, out of all the people, are telling me that you fell in love with a random stranger online?”

 

                “I did not say I’m in LOVE,” Yifan corrected while he opened the door to the dorm room both of them shared with four others, “I just said that I like him a little. He’s cute.”

 

                “I hate to break it to you, but you are so in love. You act like a bubbly teenager that has a huge crush on the famous football player in high school. That’s not you.”

 

                In search for a good comeback, Yifan huffed and puffed but gave up on it as soon as his bag landed on his bed and he pulled his purse out of it. Tao chuckled and then asked:

 

                “Are you guys making plans to see each other? Does he like you back?”

 

                “No and I don’t know. I don’t want to force him to do anything…”

 

                The comment made Tao squeal and for the rest of the evening, he teased Yifan about it. Yifan regretted telling him right away, but the damage was already done so he had to endure it. Tao’s words had an impact on him though. Did Yixing like him? And would a meeting be of any help? He liked to think that yes, if both of them met one day, they’d have a great time.  But proposing a meet up just like that would surely scare Yixing off so Yifan had to sit back and wait. Tao led the way out of the room and Yifan followed, pulling out his phone as he remembered he still had to answer Yixing. To not give Tao anymore fuel to the fire, he typed his thoughts down instead of sending a voice message.

 

_I always say what I mean, don’t worry about that._

 

                They eventually had moved on from Wechat voice messages to Facetime a few weeks later which had been triggered by a visit at the hairdresser. Yifan liked to experiment with his looks a lot and one day, only god knew why, he felt the need to shave his whole head because he was absolutely unhappy with his current haircut but didn’t want to wait until it would grow out. When he had been at the salon, he thought the outcome wasn’t that bad but when he was at his dorm and he had taken a closer look into the mirror, he cursed his stupid ass for having such an idiotic idea. He really needed someone to tell him he still looked good so he decided to fuck it and just give Yixing a call, hoping he’d not be scared away by his sudden move. It took him ten long seconds until Yixing answered. The picture showed him with a confused look on his face as he asked:

 

                “What is going on? Did anything happ—“

 

                When he saw Yixing’s shaved head the words got stuck in his throat. If Yifan wouldn’t have been so absolutely tormented he’d have complimented Yixing on his look. It seemed like he was at university since a few students walked through the picture in the background and he was wearing earbuds. His skin seemed so smooth and clear as if there was a filter laid over the picture. And maybe it was because he was missing his, but Yixing’s hair seemed especially fluffy and wavy and it was just so _unfair_ when Yifan had no hair at all.

 

                “What happened to your hair?”

 

                “I cut it.” Yifan answered with grinding teeth.

 

                “Why would you do that?”

 

                Yifan told him he didn’t know either - it was just a random thought and he’d gotten along with it and was now regretting every little bit.

 

                “Please say something to make me feel better!” He whined while he started to pout and he thought he might look cute that way.

 

                Yixing snorted but got a hold of himself again. He then took a moment to take a closer look at Yifan and even through the crappy internet connection and the not-so-HD videocall the older one felt uncomfortable as he felt Yixing’s gaze on him. He just hoped he had nothing on his face because that would’ve been even more embarrassing.

 

                “You’re still handsome, don’t worry about it.” Yixing then answered with an honest smile and a slight blush on his face and Yifan shot him a thankful grin.

 

                “As long as _you_ like it, I think I can manage!”

 

                The comment made Yixing grunt and roll his eyes, but while he did so he tried hard to prevent the corners of his mouth from curling up.

 

                “Yifan, I’ve got to go. There are some people coming over and we have to prepare a presentation together… call me again tonight when I’m home? I mean… only if you want to.”

 

                “Of COURSE my darling! Is that some sort of date now?” Yifan swooned, knowing he’d flip Yixing off.

 

                “Just STOP IT! You’re impossible!”

 

                Yifan blew him a kiss and Yixing bit his lips to suppress the smile that threatened to grow wider and just disconnected without any further word. Yifan wasn’t mad though. He’d rather send another message to remind Yixing of telling him when he’ll be home so he could ‘prepare for their date’. He knew he’d have to pay for his behavior sooner or later but he had never expected Yixing to sneakily make a screenshot while they had been having the conversation, loading it up to Tumblr and caption it with:

 

_哥_ _has gotten a haircut and is not happy. Please send him love. His self-esteem is so low. He needs to know that he’s still handsome. :)_

_#my egghead #he’s an idiot_

 

                From this day on, the nickname ‘egghead’ stuck to Yifan like glue. If you visited Yixing’s blog and searched only for the tag ‘egghead’ you’d be directed to every selfie and entry of Yifan that Yixing had ever reblogged. Yifan had to admit that he hadn’t been too fond of the name in the beginning, but eventually started to get used to it. Especially since Yixing called him that also during their conversations on Facetime and he did it with a loving expression in his voice that made Yifan’s heart flutter and he suddenly really didn’t mind. Their conversations became a ritual that both of them cared about very much. Regardless of they had or hadn’t a lot to say to each other, they’d still have their videochats, even if it meant that sometimes, Yifan just watched Yixing doing some work for university or Yixing endured Yifan’s endless grunting when he was doing some photoshop work on a picture he had taken on his last trip. Yifan was a night owl while Yixing used to have a very regular sleeping schedule and often Yixing would just tell him “I’m going to bed” and place his laptop next to him and about ten minutes later when Yifan looked up from whatever he had been doing, he’d see Yixing, curled up on his bed, lips slightly parted as he let out long and regular breaths that indicated he was already fast asleep. Most of the time he disconnected the call then but sometimes the younger one looked so adorable, he just let the camera run until he went to bed himself. Having those videocalls made the distance a little more endurable since it was almost like having Yixing lying right next to him. But they surely never made up for his need to actually have him lying next to him, being able to put an arm around him, giving him a hug to comfort him when he was sad, caring for him when he was exhausted from dance practice or just simply hold his hand when he felt like it. He was needy to touch him. But with more than 400 miles between them, that need was doomed to stay unfulfilled.

 

                Once in a while a friend of his had to celebrate a birthday so one day he had to tell Yixing that they might not be able to have a chat since he was bound to come home late and he knew how Yixing hated it to stay up until the late ams. Yixing seemed to not take it too hard and told him to have fun with his friends so that’s what Yifan did, even though he often peeked at his phone to check whether or not he had gotten a message. The more glasses of drinks he and his friends had, the more he forgot about his phone though until his thoughts and vision was so blurred he couldn’t even remember how many of those Mojitos he had downed already. When he came home it was already 3 a.m. and he was, to put it bluntly, wasted as fuck. He was lucky Tao was there to bring him back to their dorm and into his bed. When he was finally spread out on his mattress, face pressed into his pillow to somehow ignore the spinning in his head, his thoughts immediately snapped to Yixing and felt the need to write him. He didn’t really know what to write, since he wasn’t even able to speak properly without messing up words and sentence patterns, hell, he wasn’t even able anymore to separate Mandarin from Cantonese and had spoken a weird mixture of the two when Tao had dragged him back home – but he just needed to tell him that he was finally home at least. His phone was somewhere in the back pocket of his jeans that he was still wearing and it took him especially long to type in his screenlock code. He didn’t want to wake anyone of the others in his room up so he pulled his blanket over his head, the fresh linen feeling cool against his heated skin. He sighed and enjoyed that little moment, before he opened his eyes again and squinted at the brightness of his phone screen. He whimpered until he could manage to look at his device without feeling like being blinded and opened the chatroom with Yixing – which he double checked, because he didn’t want to accidentally send his texts to someone else.

 

_I’m home now. I guess you are already asleep but I just wanted to let you know._

 

                It had taken him ages to type these two sentences and he somehow felt proud of himself when he hit the send button. He wasn’t sure how long he had stared at his phone until he decided that another message couldn’t do any harm.

 

_I wish you were here._

 

                He didn’t know why and how but suddenly he was scrolling through ctrip and checked prices for a ticket from Guangzhou to Changsha. He was genuinely surprised though – the highspeed rail only needed two and a half hours to get from his hometown to Yixing’s, which was laughable.

 

_It’s either you who has to be here or me who has to be where you are. I don’t care. 400 miles, right? The highspeed rail only needs about two hours to get me to Changsha. It’s 314RMB for next weekend._

 

                Actually, Yifan had been pretty sure that his drunk rambling would go unnoticed until Yixing would wake up to go to class so he had to double check if there really was a message of Yixing popping up in their chatroom.

 

_You are drunk, go to bed, egghead. Don’t book any train tickets in that condition. You might end up buying a ticket to Beijing._

 

                Yifan let out a surprised squeal which was louder than he had intended it to be. He lifted his blanket to check if anyone had heard him, but there was still the soft snoring of his roommates and a look over to Tao’s bed made him realize that he was already fast asleep. He crawled back under the blanket and started to type.

 

_What are you still doing up?!_

 

                The answer came pretty fast.

 

_Says the one looking for trains at four in the morning._

 

                Yifan retorted that this wasn’t the same since he had been out with friends. Yixing’s answer came after what felt like an eternity, even though the time that had passed had been barely a minute.

 

_I’m not sleeping well tonight and forgot to mute my phone. You are drunk and not thinking straight. Besides, I have to go visit my family in Yongzhou next weekend. Don’t book a ticket to Changsha when I’m not even in town. Go to sleep now, egghead._

 

                Lying in his bed and being infused by all the alcohol he had, he felt fatigue taking its toll and had troubles to keep his eyes open. Furthermore, Yixing was right – there wouldn’t be any use in going to Changsha when he was in a complete different town. Yifan felt a yawn threatening to part his lips so he finally obeyed and wished Yixing a good night.

 

                The next day was filled with headaches and regrets over drinking that last cocktail, but at least Tao didn’t feel any better even if he had been drinking not as much as Yifan. It had been bad, he knew that. And he wasn’t sure how Yixing was thinking about his drunk texts so he was especially nervous when he was sitting in a café working on some paper and Yixing called him. He didn’t know if the nauseous feeling came from the fact that he was still hungover or it had a whole different reason. When he accepted the call and Yixing had layed his eyes on him, the smaller one started to laugh.

 

                “You look so horrible!”

 

                “Thanks, I love you too.” Yifan grunted.

 

                Yixing’s laughter rang in his ears and he was thankful that the other one seemed to take everything with humor. He had a fun time to tease him about his current state which would’ve driven Yifan mad, but then again – it was Yixing. He could not imagine to get mad at Yixing ever.

 

                “Okay, I’ll stop now,” Yixing sad after he had cracked another lame joke about drunk people, “But I have a serious question I’ve got to ask you.”

 

                “What is it?”

 

                Yifan’s grip around his mug half filled with tepid coffee grew tighter as he recognized the expression on Yixing’s face that had shifted from a joyful smile to an anxious frown. Yixing seemed to scratch together his courage for something and it made Yifan a little uneasy, to be honest.

 

                “Those things that you said last night – did you actually mean that?”

 

                The older one didn’t know what to say for a moment before he replied:

 

                “Why wouldn’t I still mean it?”

 

                “Well, because, obviously, you were fucked up.” Yixing responded with one raised eyebrow.

 

                “You know what they say about drunk people, Xingie. They always speak the truth.”

 

                To avoid any further embarrassment, he downed his coffee. A smile came back to Yixing’s face.

 

                “So… do you still want to… see me? Like… in person?”

 

                Yifan supported his head with one hand and looked at the video on his laptop screen.

 

                “Yes. I do. I always do.”

 

                He knew he sounded lame and got the confirmation right away when Yixing snorted and shook his head at him.

 

                “I’m honest, I’ve had that thought for a while now, too. I just never knew how to address it.”

 

Yixing admitted and for the first time today Yifan was pretty sure the weird feeling in his stomach wasn’t because of the alcohol that somehow still seemed to circulate in his system.

 

                “Well. It’s addressed now. When’s the best time?” Yifan responded and closed the document of his paper just to open his browser and got on qunar.com to check for ticket prices.

 

▪▪▪▪

 

                When the plane touched down, Yixing felt like someone had punched him in the guts repeatedly for the last two and a half hours he had been up in the air. Automatically, without even thinking much, he fetched his cabin baggage and followed the other passengers out of the plane. The stewardess from before wished him a pleasant stay in Taipei when he got out and walked through the gate to the baggage claim, but Yixing didn’t even really notice her. While he was waiting for his suitcase to arrive, he tried to connect his phone with the airport’s wifi because he didn’t dare to activate his mobile data. To say that he was nervous was an understatement as he got a hold of his luggage and the wifi still wasn’t working. He immediately started to worry that something might have gone wrong – that Yifan might not be waiting for him anymore was one of his most feared scenarios. When he stepped out into the arrival hall, his eyes were glued to his phone that finally seemed to cooperate. He had indeed gotten a message from Yifan, and fortunately it wasn’t something along the lines “I’m headed to the hotel now.” He sighed in relief and looked up to search the crowd for him.

 

                Yifan spotted him right when he stepped out of the baggage claim, staring at his phone and dragging along a small suitcase. There was a fraught expression on his usually soft face. Yifan thought about pinching himself for a moment, just to make sure that this was really Yixing standing a few feet away from him. Right when he tried to call out for him, the small brunet let out a sigh and a smile ghosted across his face and he looked up looking for someone – looking for him. When their gazes met, both of them stood still for a moment, as if moving could mean the other one would disappear within the blink of an eye. Yifan suddenly felt like fifteen again when he had had his first crush on a guy who had happened to be the kid from one floor beneath them. His breath shortened, his heartbeat got suddenly very fast and the palms of his hands got sweaty as one held onto the rail of his suitcase. Yixing was the first to move and took a few hesitant steps towards Yifan which encouraged the taller one to stride into the other one’s direction. They met halfway and before Yixing could bring himself to form a “Hi!” Yifan let go of his luggage and pulled him into a hug. Yixing smelled like soap and comfort. Getting hit with that thought made Yifan cringe – he was already that deep, huh?

 

                “How was your flight?” Yifan mumbled into Yixing’s shoulder while the smaller one carefully put his hands around Yifan’s waist to return the hug.

 

                Yifan was taller than Yixing had imagined but somehow it made him feel secure while the other one had his arms wrapped tightly around him. Being pressed against his chest felt oddly amazing as if he was just meant to be there.

 

                “It was okay,” Yixing said, “The food was horrible though.”

 

                The comment made Yifan snort and he loosened his grip around Yixing’s slim body. He took a step back only to cup the other’s face with his hands to take a closer look. Yixing surely didn’t know what to do and to hide his nervousness he made a grimace.

 

                “Then let’s get to the hotel to check in and have dinner, shall we?”

 

                Yixing nodded and as they stepped out of the arrival hall he apologized to have kept Yifan waiting for over an hour.

 

                “Yeah right how DARE YOU not telling the pilot to fly that god damn plane faster?” Yifan responded with a wink and Yixing rolled his eyes.

 

                “You idiot, you know what I mean!”

 

                Yifan ruffled his hair and smiled.

 

                “It’s okay. You’re here now. That was worth the wait.”

 

                The comment made Yixing’s stomach do little summersaults while Yifan stopped one of the taxis and told the driver where they needed to go. They spent their car ride in the backseat, getting through a travel plan Yifan had put together on his iPad all while their knees and shoulders touched, making their skin tingle in excitement. There was no awkward silence – they had plenty of stuff to talk to even if it was mostly Yifan listening to Yixing’s first flight experience. The older one would often laugh at some of Yixing’s comments (“Why wouldn’t they let me take my WATER with me? Like?? It’s WATER?!”) and even though Yixing was used to the sound of Yifan’s laughter already, it sounded different in reality. It sounded better. If only he could allow himself to get used to it. But he couldn’t. In not even four full days he’d be back in Changsha, and Yifan would be back in Guangzhou and he had to be content with distorted videochats, voice messages and reblogs again.

 

                The hotel was located in the middle of Taipei with a subway station nearby that would bring them to the sightseeing spots within a few minutes. Yifan had picked it, since he was used to travelling and knew what to look for and his choice had been good. Maybe Yixing didn’t know what to think of a king size bed (“Don’t look at me like that, I didn’t know either!”) but the room was clean and cozy and there was a big window giving them a great view over the city they’d be exploring together.

 

                Yixing had to admit that he felt completely drained even though it was maybe six in the evening. The moment he laid down on the bed to test whether or not the mattress was too hard, he felt like he never wanted to get up again. Yifan plopped down next to him, holding his iPad over his face.

 

                “How do I connect to that god damn wifi?” He asked.

 

                “Why? Do you need to blog about how you’re sharing a room with me, hashtag _I cannot wait to tap that ass_?” Yixing shot back and was surprised how he could’ve brought himself to actually say that out loud.

 

                Yifan himself seemed to be surprised too, so much that his grip around his iPad got loose and it fell onto his face. Yixing burst out into laughter at the sight of it and Yifan’s super dumb face afterwards. Yifan seemed to think of a good comeback but lacked a flash of inspiration so instead he said, while activating the front camera:

 

                “Well, YES maybe I was just going to do that! Come over here, it’s time for our first selfie together!”

 

                After a little whining of Yixing’s (“I look like crap!”- “Shut up you’re gorgeous as always!” – “SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND STOP LYING!”) and a few tries Yifan had decided on which picture to use. While he uploaded the picture, he explained that he originally wanted to check for places to eat in the area. Yixing thought that this was a great idea since he had barely touched the food on the plane and the last real meal had been his breakfast. So while Yifan was roaming some travel blogs Yixing decided to check on Yifan’s post and tried hard not to completely lose his shit.

 

_Y’all fake bitches didn’t fund me and we had to pay for those plane tickets and the hotel ourselves. Your ungrateful asses actually do not deserve this but I’m gonna upload that selfie anyway because this needs to be seen by the world: Look at @ZYX100791 and his radiant beauty. I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS SO PRETTY._

_#the adventures of xingie and egghead #I CANNOT WAIT TO TAP THAT ASS #xingie said I should use that tag I’m innocent for once! #i feel like an ugly potato next to him_

 

                “I did NOT say you should use that tag!” Yixing yelled and Yifan immediately shot up out of Yixing’s reach so he couldn’t get hit by the other one.

 

                “It was too good to not put it there,” Yifan responded and tried to change the topic immediately, “I have found some places to go, are you ready?”

 

                He really just wanted to stay on that bed, but nevertheless he got up. Yifan still seemed so full of energy, maybe because he was used to trips like these, Yixing didn’t want to spoil his good mood and followed him out of the room. Yifan shoved the keycard into the palm of Yixing’s hands.

 

                “You take care of it, I have a tendency to lose that stuff.”

 

                Yixing wasn’t sure if he was the right choice for that task since he was clumsy as hell and used to fuck things up on a regular basis, but he promised not to lose it. When they stepped out of the hotel and strolled through the streets in the neighborhood Yixing was surprised how different Taipei was compared to his hometown. The vibe was kind of different – and Yixing didn’t really know how to describe it as he followed Yifan through the buzzing streets of the district they were staying at. One restaurant and small boutique after another appeared to both their sides while they had to dodge parked motorcycles that their owners put in front of the houses and sometimes even on the sidewalk. Yifan had picked a Japanese restaurant for dinner that was, according to the blog entry he had read, the one with the best price-performance ratio in the area. They spent about two hours talking and eating while Yifan gave all of the seafood to Yixing who had never tasted anything like the stuff they had ordered. He actually didn’t like seafood that much but now he was sitting on his chair at a table filled with different kinds and he loved all of them.

 

                “I think it’s because the stuff is fresher here,” Yifan said when Yixing voiced his astonishment, “Changsha is in the middle of nowhere with no ocean around. Ewww you’re getting the old stuff!”

 

                “Shut up or I’ll throw this calamari at you!”

 

                “Don’t you DARE I’m going to die otherwise!”

 

                “Don’t be such a drama queen!”

 

                Yifan grunted and shoved some rice into his mouth while Yixing snorted and shook his head at Yifan’s silliness, but he liked it. He liked talking to Yifan in general and he was relieved that they weren’t awkward with each other even if there weren’t the monitors of their laptops between them. Yifan finished his dish and then proceeded to lean into the table while his hands searched for Yixing’s knees under it. When he found them, he squeezed them and asked:

 

                “Should we go?”

 

                Yixing shifted in his chair at the touch and mumbled something about finishing his plate and Yifan withdrew. When they had payed they took another route through the side streets to their hotel. Yifan told him that he liked to get to know the area around the place he’s staying at first before doing any sightseeing which made sense if Yixing thought about it. Ximen was also a very lively district with a lot of young people roaming the streets so their little walk didn’t even get boring. Yifan stopped almost every few feet to take photos with his rather expensive camera that he carried around everywhere. Yixing was the victim of his snaps more than often.

 

                “Seriously could you stop it please?” Yixing asked when they had stopped by a Seven Eleven to get some snacks and refreshments because they had decided to get back to the hotel to end the evening on a relaxed note before they’d be calling it a day.

 

                “To put it frankly – no,” Yifan answered and showed a big grin while he showed Yixing the picture on his camera, “Look, you make everything look so artsy!”

 

                Yixing rolled his eyes and hovered over to the counter to pay for his water and snacks and Yifan followed him on his heels. When they got out and their hotel was in sight, Yixing asked:

 

                “Do you always annoy your travel partners with your photos?”

 

                “Nah, I usually travel alone.”

 

                “Huh? Really?”

 

                “It’s more relaxed,” Yifan said and shrugged his shoulders, “I tend to get annoyed by others very quickly. I have my own pace and my own ideas about a vacation that often don’t cooperate with those of others. And I hate making compromises. So when I was eighteen I started to travel alone.”

 

                His comment left a worried expression on Yixing’s face and Yifan snorted while they got into the lobby.

 

                “Don’t worry, I’m not going to get annoyed by you within four days!”

 

                “Three days. The first is almost over.” Yixing corrected.

 

                “Ew don’t remind me please!”

 

                When they opened the door to their room (Yixing was glad he hadn’t lost the card) Yifan went to take a shower while Yixing got scared by his phone that started to buzz nonstop ever since it got connected to the hotel’s WiFi. His notifications on Tumblr had blown up and Yixing had actually thought that he’d take a short break from this stupid website and its even more stupid app that was good for basically nothing, but he couldn’t ignore all this shit so he scrolled through his notes and mentions and he cursed Yifan’s stupid ass for this stupid selfie.

 

_I’M GONNA FUND YOUR WEDDING GUYS!!!  
#i don’t have money myself #but imma sell my soul for this shit_

 

 

_This looks like the beginning of some gay porn – I love it!  
#is yifan already tapping yixing’s ass or is he waiting a little for that? #WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY_

 

_IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING? IS THIS THE REAL LIFE? IS THIS JUST FANTASY???  
#i’m crying i’M--------- #I CANNOT BELIEVE #this is NOT photoshopped right??_

 

_Oh god I cannot BREATHE this is what we all have been waiting for!! Our Tumblr OTP! IN THE SAME ROOM! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!  
#FANDOM RISE #we need fanart #and fanfiction #WE NEED MORE OF THAT YIFAN DON’T LEAVE US HANGING WITH ONLY ONE LAME ASS SELFIE_

 

_I bet you guys they were not wearing anything after that selfie has been shot  
#yifan’s wish will finally come true #i hope he knows a romantic way of telling yixing that he thinks of him while masturbating lol_

 

                “EWWWWWW!”

 

                Yixing threw his phone across the bed and it slipped onto the floor but he didn’t really care in that moment. Yifan came out of the bathroom and had already changed into some sweatpants and a shirt and looked at Yixing’s phone in confusion.

 

                “What’s going on?”

 

                “READ THE NOTES!”

 

                Yifan picked up the phone and when he went over the comments he started to laugh.

 

                _“ _A romantic way of telling Yixing that he thinks of him while masturbating__ , I never even MENTIONED that!”

 

                “This is your fault!”

 

                “Oh come on. Let them be. They’re just like us – fucked up kids with too much time on their hands and an internet connection.”

 

                Yifan shrugged his shoulders and stretched out on his side of the bed. Yixing sighed heavily and instead of saying anything he grabbed the remote on the table next to him and turned on the TV. There was a pregnant silence following after it in which Yixing hopped from one channel to the other and didn’t feel like watching any of the shows. He eventually ended up watching a rerun of The Voice of China where a fat little guy was singing his version of Somewhere over the Rainbow. Yifan broke the silence:

 

                “God damnit who has given him these pants? They’re horrible!”

 

                Yixing snorted and was thankful for the change of topic.

 

                “It’s not about his pants, silly!”

 

                “It’s irritating me to a degree I cannot even pay attention to his voice!”

 

                They went on commenting on the show, the candidates and especially the judges. Yixing found out that Yifan hated Jay Chou with every fiber of his being and it was so funny to listen to his comments every time someone chose Jay Chou over the other judges. Sometimes it was just a sarcastic mutter under his breath but at the end of the show Yixing’s abs hurt from all the laughing and tears were running down his face. Yifan laughed with him because it was just too good to hear Yixing crack up and spill some words out in his dialect that sounded like he was begging Yifan to stop with his nonsense. When Yixing had finally calmed down they talked about some random topics while they were munching on the chips Yixing had bought before. The later it got, the weirder their conversation went until Yixing’s eyelids grew heavy and threatened to close any given moment.

 

                “Xingie can I ask you something? It’s kind of personal, I’m not mad when you say no.”

 

                “Shoot.” Yixing responded and let out a long yawn that he had fought against for the last few minutes.

 

                Half asleep, he recognized Yifan shifting his weight so he was directly facing the other one. Yifan smiled when he saw Yixing’s face that had a complete content and relaxed expression. He asked himself if that would be changing the moment he’d have popped his question.

 

                “Okay, so… have you ever kissed someone?”

 

                Yixing’s eyes flew open and he sat up straight on the bed. He eyed Yifan as if he had lost his mind.

 

                “Aaaaaah, I knew you’d get mad, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

 

                Yixing couldn’t respond at first and just started to blabber:

 

                “I… what… why… why do you want to know that?!”

 

                “I was just thinking. You said you’ve always been single so… yeah. I’m a curious asshole. I’m sorry.”

 

                The younger one sighed and laid back on his back to face the ceiling. He contemplated whether or not to tell Yifan the truth or just simply lie about it but in the end lying would be no use anyway.

 

                “Well, if you’re really dying to know – nope.”

 

                “Wait… what?!”

 

                “Yeah… I have never kissed someone. Tragic, isn’t it?”

 

                “For real?!”

 

                Yixing side eyed Yifan who stared at him in pure disbelief.

 

                “For real. I told you that I got rejected the last time I liked someone and afterwards I went to university and somehow… I just never really had the time to meet anyone. So. Yeah. Here I am at 24, still unkissed.”

 

                “Who in the world is dumb enough to reject you?”

 

                Yixing chuckled and patted Yifan’s hand.

 

                “I appreciate it, but during High School I was really chubby and ugly. I can see why they would say no.”

 

                “Looks aren’t everything.”

 

                “Pffff, says the guy who makes a bazillion selfies a day?” Yixing mocked Yifan and the older one responded:

 

                “Hey, selfie culture is something different. Don’t drag me for this!”

 

                “If you say so…”

 

                Yifan exhaled a long breath and turned around on his back. Their shoulders touched as they both were staring at the ceiling and Yifan had another question that was just waiting to roll off his tongue but he wasn’t sure if he could really go there.

 

                “I’m pretty sure you are the total opposite of me right?”

 

                “I have, in fact, kissed people before, yes,” Was Yifan’s answer and he looked at Yixing with a smug smile, “I don’t want to brag, but people tell me that I’m pretty good at it.”

 

                Yixing made a sound that sounded like a grunt and a squeal at the same time and he rolled over to one side away from Yifan. The older one didn’t say anything so after some time, when Yixing was sure the blush on his cheeks had faded, he turned back around and snapped:

 

                “What?! Are you implying you want to kiss me?!”

 

                “You know Xingie,” Yifan said and crossed his arms behind his head, “Better have someone who cares about you stealing your first kiss than someone who’s just playing with you.”

 

                “That is not…”

 

                “What? Don’t tell me that doesn’t make sense because it perfectly does!”

 

                Thinking about it, Yifan was right. First times should always be shared with special people, things like kisses in particular.

 

                “You’re thinking about iiiiiit…” Yifan sing songed.

 

                “You are so impossible!!” Yixing cried out and Yifan rolled over, upper body pressed onto Yixing’s chest.

 

                Yixing squealed and threw his hands over his lips, more out of reflex than to protect him from Yifan’s attack. A weird sensation started to shoot through his body starting from his chest and wandering through his whole system until Yixing felt like his whole body had just heated up a few degrees. Yifan pinned him down with his gaze and Yixing didn’t know what to do, let alone where to look so he kind of focused on Yifan’s nose, which was kind of weird. The older one started to run his long fingers through his hair and without a further warning he pressed his lips gently onto Yixing’s forehead. They felt soft and warm against his skin and Yixing closed his eyes, not moving an inch. He felt how Yifan’s hands cupped his face and the many many small kisses that he placed all over his forehead, his cheeks, his nose – it felt like Yifan did not miss the smallest inch and it felt just so good. It was like Yifan was appreciating every of Yixing’s features, trying to let him know how beautiful he thought Yixing was. Eventually Yifan kissed the back of Yixing’s hand that was still placed over his mouth. Yixing wasn’t sure if he should give in, because he was sure that if he crossed _that_  line he’d be unable to go back to how things had been before. However, and he wasn’t sure why, he removed his hands to give Yifan more space and when the other’s lips touched his own, he immediately placed them on the nape of the other’s neck which was more of a reflex. What started as short and gentle kisses soon heated up into more demanding ones where Yifan took the lead, occasionally dipping his tongue between Yixing’s lips and Yixing was willing to follow. He had never felt anything like this – neither the feeling when their tongues and lips touched nor the emotions that rushed through him the whole time. It felt like the world had stopped turning for a moment and it only started to spin again when Yifan broke away from Yixing. The younger one threw his eyes open and shot Yifan a questioning look.

 

                “So?” The one on top of him asked.

 

                “What?”

 

                “Was that a good first kiss?”

 

                “God you are a jerk.”

 

                Yifan giggled and rolled off Yixing, put placed another peck on his cheek.

 

                “Bother to know my opinion? I think you’re a natural!”

 

                “That’s IT I’m going to brush my teeth!” Yixing cried out and escaped into the bathroom while Yifan’s laughter was ringing in his ears.

 

                While he tried to calm his heartbeat down, he didn’t recognize how Yifan pressed his face into his pillow to get a hold of his face that was being tortured by a wide stupid grin. Don’t be an idiot, he reminded himself. Don’t fuck this up.

 

▪▪▪▪

 

                Yixing wasn’t used to falling asleep next to another moving and breathing body. He tried to remember how it was when he had some sleepovers as a kid and shared a bed with his friend, but as far as Yixing could recall those scenarios, he and his friend would fall asleep under their blanket fort and wake up in the exact same position, next to each other with enough space between them.

 

                He never had someone holding him in their arms, their steady and deep breaths tingling across the skin of his neck. He never had experienced how it felt when another body was pressed against his, giving off comfortable heat. It was weird. But it wasn’t something Yixing couldn’t get used to. The curtains of the room weren’t pulled close properly and the light of the illuminated city flooded the room, occasionally bringing the ringing of a motorbike’s alarm system with it. Yifan had been asleep for at least two hours now. Sometimes he’d move in his sleep, pulling Yixing a little closer to his chest but that was about everything he did. The other one just laid on the mattress and waited for sleep to take over him since he really was exhausted. The problem was that, even if his body desperately needed the rest, his mind wouldn’t shut up. His thoughts jumped from the first time he had recognized Yifan among his followers to the kiss they had shared not even three hours ago back to how they had started talking and forth to the first time he had laid his eyes on Yifan at the airport. He couldn’t really put the pieces together and didn’t understand how something like this would’ve happened to a guy like him. His brain then started to fantasize about what would happen when he’d get back home. There was one scenario that made it hard for him to hold back his grin as images of him and Yifan flashed across his inner eye, somehow working out the distance, somehow ending up together and spending lazy Sundays in the living room of their shared apartment, just being together, having found their cheesy happily ever after, while Yifan would keep their Tumblr followers updated on their life. But, he tried to remind himself, reality wasn’t a predicatble teenage love story like in the movies, so it maybe was highly likely that they’d never even stand a chance. Yixing tried hard to get back down to earth and suddenly felt like Yifan could read his mind which made him throw a look over his shoulder to make sure he was still asleep. Which he was.

 

                Eventually, sleep had finally won the battle and the next thing Yixing noticed was Yifan’s body heat that was completely missing. He turned around and squinted his eyes. Yifan was indeed gone. He wasn’t in the bathroom either because everything was silent. Yixing sat up and looked around the room, half expecting Yifan to jump out of the closet even though it was way too small for a giant like him, but nothing happened. It took him a few moments but then he got hit by the fear that Yifan had just gotten up and left him, for whatever reason. It felt like someone was squeezing his stomach as he tried to recall if he had done anything that might have make Yifan leave him after barely 24 hours they had spent together but then his eyes locked with Yifan’s suitcase that was still placed next to the door, clothes scattered carelessly around it. Yixing tried to calm himself down. If he was indeed gone he would’ve taken his belongings with him, wouldn’t he? He reached for his phone but realized that writing Yifan would be no use since they didn’t use mobile data in Taiwan. He grunted and right when Yixing decided to get up and get dressed to maybe look for the other one, the door opener made a buzzing noise and in stumbled Yifan with a bag and two coffee paper cups in his hands. He blinked when he saw Yixing who was just about to get up from the bed.

 

                “You’re up, I’m sorry! I thought I’d be back earlier…”

 

                Yixing sunk back on the bed while Yifan kicked the door close. He then hovered over and sat down next to him, shoving a cup of coffee into his hands.

 

                “It’s two sugars, right?”

 

                “Ummmm… yes…”

 

                Yifan shot him a smile and when he placed his cup on the small desk next to their bed, he opened the bag and the smell of scrambled eggs filled up Yixing’s nose.

 

                “I wasn’t really sure what you like to eat for breakfast, so I kind of got a few things..”

 

                “Oh god, you went out to get breakfast…!” Yixing exclaimed – he didn’t mean to actually say it out loud, but it just spilled out and he felt incredibly stupid for the small fit of panic that he had had just a few minutes ago.

 

              “Of course I did. I couldn’t bring myself to wake you up, so I left and went to that breakfast store around the corner. I don’t know if the stuff is good, so if it’s not I’m not to blame!”

 

                They spent the next half hour on the bed trying out the breakfast sandwiches and burgers and eventually found some things they decided would be their breakfast for the next two days.  Afterwards, Yifan put the wrapping paper into the bag and looked at Yixing.

 

                “You should go and change, we need to get going. I’ll go to the lobby and check how to get around. The wifi is better there.”

 

                Yixing nodded and before Yifan got up, he pulled the younger one closer to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. Then he grabbed his backpack and his camera and threw the bag into the waste bin on his way out.

 

                “I’ll be waiting for you.”

 

                And then he was gone. Yixing stood still for a second, petrified by the touch of Yifan’s lips who had kissed him in such a casual way as if it wasn’t any different than what he’s been doing any other day in his life.

 

                “Fuck!” Yixing breathed and got up to take a quick shower.

 

▪▪▪▪

 

                They spent the morning and noon doing a lot of sightseeing which inevitably meant they were doing a lot of walking. Walking from one bus or metro station to another, walking through temples since Yifan was curious about the architecture in Taiwan (which Yixing really did not understand since he couldn’t tell the difference between a Taiwanese temple and a temple from the Mainland – but with Yifan he discovered that he was very ignorant of a lot of things so he did not say anything), walking through piles of tourist groups to the Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall, walking until Yixing had the feeling his feet were nonexistent anymore. The only thing that made all this walking bearable was Yifan who sneakily seized every opportunity to touch Yixing – when a group of Mainland tourists threatened to split them up because they just walked right through them, he grabbed Yixing’s hand and held onto it until the group was gone. When they stood in a crowded bus he held Yixing’s shoulder under the pretense to prevent the other one from losing his balance. He leaned into Yixing in every selfie more than necessary – and he demanded a lot of them. Yixing didn’t mind. Yifan’s touches felt nice and natural, it was almost like Yifan’s hand was meant to be pulling him up from benches where he was taking a rest on or Yifan had never been doing anything else in his life but encouraging Yixing to climb up the nth staircase to a temple with a bright smile.

 

                After lunch they had decided to get up to the Taipei 101 observatory, even though the entrance fee was pretty expensive for two students like them. It had been some kind of struggle to finally get up there, but after they had managed to find the right way from the mall to the observatory they were more than glad to get up there – the weather was bright and clear which gave them an amazing view over the city. Yifan got way too excited and spent so much time on taking pictures he completely forgot Yixing who was leaning against the glass staring down onto the skyscrapers that suddenly seemed very small. He didn’t know how long he spent standing there lamenting about his life until Yifan came back with a pout on his face.

 

                “What’s wrong?” Yixing asked.

 

                “My card is full…”

 

                The comment made Yixing snort.

 

                “You have already taken THAT many pictures??”

 

                “Obviously!”

 

                Yifan leaned next to Yixing against the glass of one of the big windows and kept searching in his bag for an additional memory card. Yixing chuckled when he watched the taller one exchanging the cards with skilled movements. When he was done and the full memory card was safely stored in his bag, Yifan asked:

 

                “Are you okay? I mean… do you like it so far?”

 

                Yixing nodded.

 

                “Are you sure or are you just saying that so I will shut up?”

 

                A giggle escaped Yixing’s throat which made Yifan crack a smile himself while he looked at all the buttons of his camera. Some of the symbols started to fade already because he used them way too often.

 

                “It’s great,” Yixing said and added after a moment of thinking, “I’d love to have more time here.”

 

                “Yeah, that kind of sucks.” Yifan responded.

 

                They didn’t speak a word and watched the other visitors crawling from one window to the next to take a picture that would look just like the other one they had taken a few seconds before.

 

                “But I guess your family will miss you when you’re not going to return.” Yifan joked and Yixing just scoffed, causing Yifan to raise an eyebrow in question.

 

                Yixing just shook his head and turned around to face the city again.

 

                “It’s complicated.”

 

                “I like complicated.”

 

                The younger one sighed and stayed silent. Yifan waited for an explanation and right when he thought that Yixing wouldn’t say anything Yixing opened his mouth to talk.

 

                “Let’s say they are not as accepting of me as I wish they were.”

 

                Yifan frowned, indicating he should continue.

 

                “It’s… Okay, so, I came out to them a long time ago about… you know, not liking girls and that stuff. I thought it would make things better… like, they would stop asking me to bring home a girlfriend for New Year’s, I mean, I think you know the deal… well, it didn’t make things better. If not, they even got worse.”

 

                “Wait, what do you mean with ‘it’s gotten worse’?”

 

                Yifan leaned a little into Yixing, though he was not touching him. The gesture comforted Yixing even though he didn’t know exactly why.

 

                “My dad just blocks the info out. Every time I visit them he still asks me if I have met a nice girl who could become my girlfriend. I tried to tell him every time but he just… I don’t know… he just ignores it so I gave up on correcting him and just tell him ‘No, I haven’t met anyone’. My mother has kind of accepted it, but she insists on me marrying anyways. She’s read a lot of things on the internet and found out that a lot of homosexuals get into heterosexual marriages and have a family anyway. She told me she expects me to just do that.”

 

                 Yifan’s face fell in horror while Yixing just managed to crack a sad smile. He had never told anyone about this. It felt weird to get it off his chest.

 

                “That is a horrible thing to say to your only child!” Yifan exclaimed and was thinking hard of any words of comfort but nothing came to his mind.

 

                “I know. I don’t think she means it like that though. If you keep up a façade of a normal life people will not ask questions all the time. I don’t know. It’s a weird situation. Which kind of explains why I never want to go to Yongzhou but I have to go there every now and then.”

 

                Yixing felt like ranting a little more about his family but wasn’t sure if Yifan wanted to hear any of it. He shot him an uneasy look but the taller one just squeezed his arm, which was the gesture that told him it was okay to continue.

 

                “So… my grandmother is very sick and we all expect her to die this year. She’s the reason why my parents left Changsha and moved to Yongzhou where she lives. I stayed in Changsha for my studies and got a little more freedom. But as soon as my grandmother will be no more, my parents will sell her house and move back to Changsha since my mother hates Yongzhou very much. They sort of expect me to move back in with them but I really don’t feel like allowing them to take over my life like this again.”

 

                “Uuuuuuugh Chinese parents are so annoying,” Yifan rolled his eyes, “Like, in Canada you’re expected to move out more sooner than later. I’m glad my mom adapted to that kind of thinking.”

 

                “She’s still in Canada, right?”

 

                Yifan nodded.

 

                “I left for Guangzhou because I wanted to kind of… reconnect with my roots? I don’t know it’s weird. My mother has a new life in Canada and doesn’t really want to go back to China so she just told me to pack my things and do my thing. She’s pretty chill. The only thing she demands are regular Facetime sessions.” Yifan explained while shrugging his shoulders as if it wasn’t a big deal.

 

                In Yixing’s opinion, it was. It was a big deal that Yifan’s mother had let her son go just like that and let him live his own life. It felt so surreal since everyone he knew had parents that shared his parents’ mindset. He had friends that were in their late twenties and still lived in the same rooms they had spent their childhood and teenage years in.

 

                “Does your mother know?” He asked and Yifan chuckled, not needing any explanation what exactly his mother should know.

 

                “She knew before even I had made up my mind. When I told her she was like ‘Yes I know, now go eat your dinner and stop causing such a drama about it, you’re my son and I love you’ and that was about it. Like I said: She’s pretty chill.”

 

                Yixing tried out a weak smile to indicate he was happy for Yifan that it had been quite uncomplicated for him. Yifan put his arm around Yixing and pulled him close. Their temples touched and the taller one whispered:

 

                “If necessary, I’ll just take you with me to Canada.”

 

                There was a moment when Yixing thought nothing in particular but then he just slipped out a simple “Okay” and he didn’t even know why. It wasn’t like he had ever dreamed about getting away. And still. Yifan had made it sound so easy.

 

                “Speaking of Canada,” the taller one raised his voice and withdrew a little to give Yixing more space again, “We’re going to meet a friend of mine tonight.”

 

                “Huh?”

 

                “I know I haven’t told you – I kind of just made the plan while I was waiting for you in the lobby of the hotel…” Yifan apologized with a crooked smile hoping Yixing wouldn’t be intimidated, “But he’s really nice. He was the only other Asian guy in my street when I was in Canada so we became friends. He came to Taipei when I left for Guangzhou and he’s going to meet us at Shilin Night Market… only if you’re cool with it!”

 

                Yixing agreed under the condition they’d reduce the walking a little. Yifan laughed and they decided to get back to the hotel, let Yixing rest for two hours and then get going to the night market where they’d meet Yifan’s friend who went by the English name Aaron. Yixing wasn’t really prepared to meet other people, yet spend the precious limited time alone with Yifan with another person but when Yixing had agreed Yifan had gotten overly excited to meet his old friend after two years again so he tried to keep his cool. Maybe this Aaron guy was pretty cool and fun to hang out with after all.

                The trip from their hotel to the entrance of the night market took about half an hour and the closer they got the more people roamed the streets. The peak time for night markets was somewhere between seven and eleven pm and they arrived just in time for the start of it.

 

                “Stay close to me.” Yifan ordered as they got out of Jiantan Station and a group of giggling teenage girls had swarmed past them.

 

                Yixing sighed and linked his arm with Yifan’s.

 

                “This close?”

 

                Yifan grinned and mumbled something that sounded like “Well I am not complaining…” but Yixing let the comment pass as they fought their way to the entrance. Yifan kept looking for his friend and when he saw him, he cried out:

 

                “Aaron!!”

 

                Aaron looked up from his cellphone. He was about Yixing’s size, with pitch black hair and a very slim body. When he recognized Yifan, he showed a perfect boyish grin that immediately reached his eyes.

 

                “Kris!”

 

                “Wait… Kris…?” Yixing asked as they approached him and Yifan winced as if Yixing had caught him doing something naughty.

 

                “I… well… that’s what people call me in Canada.” He explained quickly before he let go of Yixing and fell into Aaron’s arms who started to rant away in English.

 

                “Have you grown taller over the last two years?!” He asked when Yifan’s body crashed against his and they shared a big hug while Yixing stood a little offside.

 

                “No, you’ve become smaller, definitely!” Yifan responded and Aaron slapped his back hard for that comment.

 

                “Asshole!”

 

                They let go of each other and Yifan said:

 

                “Aaron, meet Yixing.”

 

                Yifan must have told Aaron about him, because he didn’t seem to be surprised. His eyes widened and he offered his right hand which Yixing took and tried to return the smile, even though he was sure it wasn’t as bright as the other guy’s.

 

                “Nice to meet you! Is this your first time in Taipei?”

 

                “Ummm… yeah. It is.”

 

                “Great!” Aaron cried out and threw an arm around him to drag him into the market, “I’m going to show you guys the best stuff! I’ve made a list what we’re going to eat! I hope you came with an empty stomach!”

 

                “Aaron you big ray of sunshine, don’t scare Yixing away in the first five minutes, okay?”

 

                Aaron rolled his eyes and promised to behave. Yixing didn’t really know how to cope with Aaron’s bright personality but he figured that it was better this way – he’d rather answer Aaron’s questions (“So, Changsha, huh? You must eat spicy food, right? I know a stand with spicy stuff!” – “You dance? Wooow, what kind of style?” – “What was your favorite part of Taipei so far?”) than being the third wheel and left out in conversations. While they strolled across the market and munched on Coffin Bread, tried out Black Pepper Buns and sipped on big cups of Papaya Milk Aaron and Yifan entertained Yixing with stories from their childhood and how they had teamed up not because they both had been Asian living in a street dominated by white people (they had almost been neighbors) but because both their last names were Wu. Aaron’s actual name was Wu Genglin and they had been known as the “Wu Brothers” at their school, even though they weren’t related in any kind of way. Aaron was two years older and when Yifan had been picked on by other kids, because he had been very chubby and clumsy as a kid, Aaron was there to defend him against those bullies.

 

                “It was horrible, he ran into trouble almost every day at the playground.” Aaron said and Yifan cried out:

 

                “Could you cut it? I have an image to maintain in front of Yixing!”

 

                “Pfff, what kind of image, little brother? Are you still trying to mimic the cool guy?” The oldest of the three asked and squished Yifan’s cheek. He then turned to Yixing and explained:

 

                “Our Yifan is such a softie but he acts oh so tough in front of others… he’s even trying that scheme with me although I have always been the one to dry his tears. He’s such a crybaby.”

 

                “That’s IT!” Yifan screamed, emptied his drink and walked away to look for a waste bin.

 

                Aaron chuckled and Yixing followed Yifan to check on him.

 

                “You’re not really mad, aren’t you?” He asked when Yifan tried to fit his plastic cup into the overfilled trashcan.

 

                He gave up when the cup fell off the pile of other cups, paper plates and leftover food and landed in front of his feet.

 

                “He’s exaggerating, okay?” Was Yifan’s only response.

 

                Yixing sighed, leaned against the taller one and said:

 

                “It’s okay, I won’t tell your Tumblr followers about it. I’ll keep up your image.”

 

                Yifan really wanted to answer that with a quick-witted comment but the words got stuck in his throat while Yixing chuckled.

 

                “Here, take this, I don’t want any more.”

 

                Yixing shoved his cup of Papaya Milk into Yifan’s hand.

 

                “Don’t you like it?” Yifan asked.

 

                “It’s good, but not the second coming of Jesus either. Take it.”

 

                Yifan shrugged his shoulders and sucked at the straw to take a sip as they got back to Aaron who told Yifan that he was sorry and would stop talking about embarrassing moments of their childhood. When he said he’d be treating him to a big bowl of shaved ice with his favorite flavor, Yifan did indeed forgive him.

 

                “That’s how you win his heart over, Yixing,” Aaron whispered when they got in line and Yifan was still figuring out what kind of topping he wanted with his ice cream, “Just treat him to food once in a while and he’s as mild as a dove.”

 

                “I’ll remember that, thank you.” Yixing answered in a joking way.

 

                When their stomachs were full from all the food they had eaten Aaron insisted to take them to a bar and before Yixing could really recognize what was happening he sat next to Yifan in a dimly lighted bar sipping on a beer while Aaron and Yifan talked about the things they had or hadn’t planned for their future. Aaron knew how to engage Yixing in the conversation though which the youngest of the three was thankful for once again. He wasn’t a very good drinker so while Aaron and Yifan were on their fourth drink Yixing was still sipping on his second and he wasn’t sure if Yifan’s hand on his knee was a coincidence, purposely put there or just an unlucky combination of the two catalyzed by the alcohol. Somewhere between Aaron’s jokes and Yifan’s lame comebacks Yixing excused himself to use the bathroom. As soon as he was out of earshot Aaron cried out:

 

              “Who would’ve thought Kris Wu was able to get such an amazing boyfriend? I’m impressed! What did you pay him?”

 

                “Fuck you too?!” Yifan responded in an offended tone and threw one of the tissues on the table at his friend, “Besides, he’s not my boyfriend.”

 

                “Pffff yeah, okay, you can tell that to your mom but I know what’s going on!” Aaron answered and wiggled his eyebrows.

 

                “Seriously. We’re not together.”

 

                “But you wish you two were, riiiiiight?”

 

                Aaron grinned and leaned over the table, pinning his friend down on the spot with just his gaze. When Yifan did not respond, the older one chuckled and leaned over the table.

 

                “You two got my blessings!”

 

                “I don’t need your blessings!” Yifan shot back but Aaron was in such a good mood, nothing Yifan could possibly say was able to get his stupid grin out of his face.

 

                Yifan feared for another comment when Yixing came back, but fortunately Aaron kept his mouth shut about the matter – maybe only because Yifan had kicked against his shin as a warning.

 

▪▪▪▪

 

                It was three in the morning when Yixing and Yifan were finally sitting in a taxi that brought them back to the hotel. Aaron had forced Yixing to have another few drinks which kind of had sealed the smaller one’s fate and his head sunk into Yifan’s lap, trying to ignore the spinning in his head. Their driver was listening to Taiwanese pop songs that he had never heard and he didn’t understand a single word anyway. Yifan had a chat with the guy behind the wheel while his long fingers ran through Yixing’s hair. He could’ve stayed forever like this – the soothing touch of Yifan’s hands on his head, his voice vibrating in the air when he laughed about one of the driver’s jokes, the movement of the vehicle slowly making him doze off. Yixing’s world was at peace for a moment, until the car stopped and Yifan payed for the ride.

 

                “Get up Yixing, we arrived.” He said and ruffled Yixing’s hair to get him back into reality.

 

                Only reluctantly the other one got up and climbed out of the taxi. He followed Yifan through the lobby into the elevator where he fiddled their room card out of his jacket. He was surprised that he hadn’t lost it, given the fact he had gone way over the top of his alcohol tolerance. Unlike Yixing, Yifan was pretty much sober, which was either a pretty good thing or just the proof that his partying at university had trained his liver very well. Yifan didn’t want to get to the bottom of that question so he took the card out of Yixing’s hands when they stood in front of their room and opened the door. Yixing stumbled in and Yifan chuckled when the younger was wobbly on his knees and crashed onto the bed, spread out over the whole mattress.

 

                “Aaron’s an asshole for getting you this wasted.” Yifan stated and Yixing just groaned into the sheets, which Yifan interpreted as an affirmation.

 

                Maybe it was the taxi ride or the alcohol itself, but as soon as Yifan sat down next to Yixing he sat back up himself. With awfully clumsy movements he managed to hug Yifan from behind and bury his face in the other one’s neck. He needed to build up a little courage, his lips ghosting over it before he pressed them onto Yifan’s sensitive skin while his hands slipped under his shirt. Within seconds he had come to a rather weird decision: It would be either Yifan he’d get intimate with in any kind of way – or nobody. Even though his brain was dulled by those horrible drinks Aaron had invited him to, this was the only thing that came to his mind bright and clearly. Besides, time was running out for them. In less than 48 hours he’d be boarding a plane to his hometown and he’d maybe never have the chance to get close to the older one again. When Yifan realized what was going on, he said:

 

                “Darling, what are you doing?”

 

                He turned around to face the younger one who looked at him with big eyes and he looked awfully like a kicked puppy.

 

                “I… did I do… something wrong?”

 

                “You’re drunk,” Was Yifan’s simple answer while he cupped his face, “I can’t do this under those circumstances.”

 

                Yixing grunted and leaned against Yifan’s chest.

 

                “Look at you, acting like one of those nice guys in the movies…”

 

                Yifan snorted. His thumb caressed Yixing’s cheekbones and he placed a kiss on his crown.

 

                “They get the girl in the end, so there’s that.” He mumbled against Yixing’s hair but the other one wasn’t really convinced.

 

                “You just don’t like me __that__ way.” The younger one responded and sank back into the mattress, embracing the warmth of the bed.

 

                “That is bullshit,” Yifan said and layed next to him. His hands searched for the skin under the fabric of Yixing’s sweatshirt and drew random patterns over it, while he said: “It’s just not the right timing. Like this… You need to sleep your buzz off.”

 

                Sleep seemed very alluring but Yixing was also very stubborn so he did not just give in like that.

 

                “We don’t have the time for that.” He mumbled while he tried to keep his eyes open which failed horribly.

 

                Yifan didn’t say anything at first, because he didn’t know how to properly respond to this. When Yixing was under the impression Yifan had simply not heard or understood him, the older one kissed him gently before he said:

 

                “We’ll have all the time in the world. Promise.”

 

▪▪▪▪

 

                Yixing was sitting cross-legged on the bed watching Yifan stuffing his clothes back into his suitcase.

 

                “Damnit, how did this fit in when I packed it in Guangzhou?” The older one mumbled and Yixing giggled.

 

                “Maybe try to fold your clothes neatly and then put them into your suitcase.” Yixing suggested – Yifan’s problem was clear as day and Yifan knew that Yixing was right, but he was a chaotic person and his suitcase should be reflecting this so he gave up on it.

 

                “Well look at you, you seem to be well enough again to give out really unnecessary comments!” Yifan shot back with a wink.

 

                Yixing just shrugged his shoulders. When he had woken up this morning he had been feeling horrible. The worst thing was the constant thirst and the headache. And the taste of the drinks of the night on his tongue. They had had the plan to go for some hiking on the so called Elephant Mountain but when Yixing’s first words were merely a suffering whine Yifan had decided to change their plan. After breakfast organized by the older one they had spent a lazy morning on their bed watching TV shows and only in the late afternoon Yixing felt ready to get some fresh air and they had strolled around the neighborhood which had let them to a cozy café where they had been sipping on big mugs of coffee. Yixing had been feeling bad throughout the day because of that but Yifan had told him that he wasn’t too mad about it – they could always come back and take that hike together. Now, after a laid back dinner, they were back in their hotel room and Yifan had been trying to pack his suitcase for ages now.

 

                “I have to put the remaining stuff in tomorrow, it wouldn’t make any sense now anyway!”

 

                He got up and faced Yixing who tried a smile but the corners of his mouth never made it up into that curl. Yifan joined him on the mattress, hugging his knees with his long arms and tilting his head to the side.

 

                “What’s on your mind, Xingie?”

 

                The smaller one shook his head to indicate there was nothing going on but Yifan didn’t buy it and Yixing was very well aware of that. He sighed in defeat.

 

                “It’s over soon.”

 

                Yifan made an unpleased sound at the comment and untangled his feet. He put them over Yixing’s knees and pulled him closer by his hips. Yixing squealed in surprise as he grabbed the thin blanket for some support but he only dragged it with him.

 

                “What makes you think that?”

 

                “Well let me think,” Yixing started with a sarcastic tone in his voice, “Maybe because we are going to leave tomorrow morning. Yeah. That might be it. But I’m not sure, you tell me.”

 

                The snort escaping Yifan’s throat caused Yixing to bristle. Yifan searched for Yixing’s hands, took them in his hand and kissed their backs. Yixing’s heart skipped a beat at the gesture.

 

                “Nothing’s going to be over tomorrow. And not the day after that. Not anytime soon. You should stop thinking like that.” Yifan responded and leaned over to make their foreheads touch.

 

                Yixing’s eyes closed shut but his lips automatically searched for Yifan’s. He would’ve loved to have the reassurance that what Yifan said was true. Not because he thought the other one was lying, but because distance was a hard thing to overcome even in times of Facetime and high speed rail trains.

 

                “No sad thoughts today, okay?”

 

                “Cheesy… but okay.” Yixing heard himself answering which caused Yifan to grunt and press him back into the mattress.

 

                “How can such a pretty person be such a little shit sometimes?”

 

                “I’m sorry!” Yixing apologized and held his hands up in defeat.

 

                Yifan didn’t say anything and sealed his lips again with Yixing’s, trying to get rid of Yixing’s doubts with it. It seemed to work – the smaller one sighed in content when he returned the kiss and threw his arms around Yifan’s broad shoulders. He shuddered when the taller one’s hands slipped under his shirt and touched his skin, caressing his sides. Yifan tried to figure out what was okay so he broke away from Yixing’s lips, even though he didn’t really want to, and tried to phrase a question that may not be labeled as ‘cheesy’ by the other one. The outcome was rather embarrassing:

 

                “So, Yixing… about yesterday… are you… I mean… do you still want to…”

 

                Yifan gave up and groaned at his own incoherence. Yixing smiled though and grabbed Yifan’s hands. He caressed them with his thumbs and looked at Yifan who eyed him in question, not sure what to do. Yixing couldn’t believe how gentle Yifan was, how care- and mindful when he talked to him and how eager he was to not push Yixing to things that might make him feel awkward. It almost physically hurt his heart. He was sure he’d never meet another man like him.

 

                “I do.” He said.

 

                The information passed through to Yifan only slowly. When he had finally understood he had to confirm it one more time.

 

                “Are you sure?”

 

                Yixing nodded and squeezed Yifan’s hands to undermine it. Yifan felt his heartbeat picking up its pace as he leaned over and kissed Yixing one more time before the smaller let go of his hands so he could push up his shirt and ultimately pull it over Yixing’s head. Yifan’s gaze wandered over every single inch of Yixing’s body and Yixing felt awfully exposed and horribly self-aware of his figure and eventual flaws that Yifan might be able to discover.

 

                “You’re beautiful, Yixing.”

 

                He didn’t know what to say, but words weren’t needed when he felt Yifan’s lips on his collarbones that started to discover his exposed skin. The feeling was sensational, something Yixing had never felt before and he soon started to bend his body into the direction of Yifan’s lips and hands to get more of it. Yifan only stopped to get rid of his own shirt that landed on the floor next to them with a dull thud. When he pressed his upper body against Yixing’s and stole another kiss from him, Yixing gasped at the friction between their skin. His hands wandered over Yifan’s back, trying to find a purpose. But then again he didn’t really want them to rest because he wanted to get to know that body pressing its weight onto him as well as possible. Yixing wanted to feel every inch, every outline and be able to recall them later. He wanted to put the feeling on record for when he wouldn’t be able touch Yifan after tomorrow. Yifan started to press his hips against Yixing’s and both felt that neither of them had stayed unaffected. One of Yifan’s hands slid down the other’s upper body and started to carefully stroke the soft and sensitive skin hidden under the elastic waistband of Yixing’s pants and briefs.

 

                “You need to tell me what feels good, do you hear me?” Yifan whispered into Yixing’s ear because talking in a loud volume seemed awfully out of place.

 

                Yixing nodded. He didn’t really know what to expect and he gasped when Yifan’s hand fully slipped under the clothes’ fabric gently touching his half erected dick stroking its complete length. Yixing’s fingernails buried themselves into Yifan’s shoulder but he didn’t mind. The sight of Yixing’s face that seemed flooded with pleasure and the feeling of Yixing’s dick reacting to his hand movements were enough to make him feel so aroused. He got awfully aware of how much annoying clothes both of them were still wearing. With a skilled move he pulled Yixing’s pants down which took the younger by surprise. When the clothes had found their shirts company, Yixing felt the blood rushing into his face. He felt so vulnerable in this very moment that he turned his face away from Yifan who chuckled softly before he started to kiss Yixing’s knee that the younger one had pressed together with the the other one to somehow shield himself from the taller one’s gazes. His hands caressed Yixing’s thighs which felt so good Yixing relaxed again and eventually gave in to Yifan who gently spread his legs and kissed himself down his inner thighs. When he was fully placed in Yixing’s lap he used his tongue to lick up his whole length – if Yixing had already thought that Yifan’s hand had been feeling amazing, he had no words for the feeling that shot through his whole body when Yifan handled him with his lips and tongue.

 

                “Oh god…!” Yixing breathed and placed one hand on Yifan’s head, desperately trying to find something to hold on to but his hair was still too short to grab on it.

 

                Yifan smiled while his head went up and down Yixing’s twitching dick and Yixing tried hard to keep the moans under control which more and more escaped his throat. Yixing was sure he wouldn’t last long if Yifan kept going like this.

 

                “Yi… Yifan… huh… I’m… I can’t…”

 

                Forming words was so hard when Yifan made him feel a sort of pleasure he had never experienced before. It felt like the temperature in the room had risen a few degrees in the last few minutes but Yixing’s body still trembled every time Yifan went down on him again, sometimes even using his teeth to tease out another moan of the other. Even though Yixing hadn’t even formed a complete sentence Yifan understood what was going on so he let go of Yixing’s dick and went back up on Yixing’s body, placing what felt like a hundred kisses on his skin until he kissed him once again, this time more demanding and passionate than he had done before. Both moaned into their kiss when their erections brushed against each other and Yixing felt his hips jerking to get more of that friction. He hoped to get any sort of relief out of it but Yifan rolling his hips against his own wasn’t enough for his erection that was desperately twitching at every touch it got. Yifan felt just the same. Yixing’s body seemed to perfectly fit against his own when he pressed his body weight onto him. It was so hard to go this slow when all he wanted to do was to take the next step and make Yixing scream his name in pleasure while he was thrusting into him.

 

                “Xingie,” He breathed against the other’s lips, “I need you to relax now.”

 

                Yixing had an idea of what was about to come when Yifan broke away from him with one last peck on his swollen lips and grabbed his backpack and pulled out a pack of condoms and a bottle of lube, both still in their sealed foil packaging. Yixing kind of immediately knew that Yifan had bought this stuff this morning when he had been out to get Yixing a breakfast to cure his hangover. After a few violent tears Yifan had managed to open the utensils and Yixing finally caught a glimpse of Yifan’s full erection. He had to be honest, he had expected Yifan to have a certain size, but he immediately started to wonder how this could possibly fit anywhere – and especially fit into _him_.

 

                “You’ll be fine, I’ll take care of you,” Yifan reassured him and kissed Yixing’s hand before he opened the lubricant bottle and put a generous amount of the liquid over his fingers, maybe even more than he’d normally use, “Trust me.”

 

                “I do.” Yixing managed to squeeze out which made Yifan smile and he leaned over to kiss Yixing’s neck and to distract him from his fingers that were circling around Yixing’s entrance.

 

                When he inserted his first finger, Yixing felt simply awkward. It did hurt, but that was manageable as long as Yifan’s lips ghosted over the sensitive skin of his neck. The second finger that followed was worse and Yixing whimpered when Yifan slowly slided in and out, occasionally but carefully scissoring him open.

 

                “It’s okay, take your time. Take a deep breath. Relax.” Yifan ordered and Yixing tried to do just that but he wasn’t used to any of this so his body naturally reacted with tense muscles.

 

                Yixing half expected Yifan to get annoyed but Yifan was keen to make the young man under him feel good so he used his other hand to stroke Yixing’s inner thighs. At times it brushed over Yixing’s dick which had the desired effect of the other one giving into the pleasure and relaxing his body. He even slowly started to move his hips as soon as he gotten used to the feeling, as soon as he realized how good all of this actually felt. The third finger made Yixing wonder just how much more Yifan could be stretching him out, but the pain faded after a while and Yixing was finally fully enjoying the friction of Yifan’s fingers against his walls and he synchronized his movements with the pace of the rhythm that Yifan was setting. He soon felt like he needed Yifan to go even deeper. He needed more.

 

                “Yifan… please…” Yixing moaned and sunk back down on his fingers.

 

                There were no more words needed. Yifan sighed in relief and hurried to get the condom and more lube on his own erection that badly needed some attention cause it had been awfully neglected the whole time. Yifan placed himself back between Yixing’s spread legs. With a last heated kiss Yifan started to slowly push into Yixing who had never expected the difference between Yifan’s fingers and his dick to be that much. The pain gushing through his lower body was inexplicable and even though he didn’t want to he let out a small scream of pain.

 

                “Ssh, I know, I know,” Yifan said and kissed the other’s cheeks, “Relax, please. You’re doing so amazing, baby.”

 

                Yixing didn’t quite believe him and he whimpered because he thought he’d not be able to take it. But then again there were Yifan’s hands and lips distracting him from the pain in his backside, and Yifan himself who whispered the sweetest things into his ear to encourage him to keep going. When Yifan was fully inside of Yixing he had a hard time to not start moving immediately even though the heat around his dick was almost unbearable. He waited for Yixing to adjust to the stretch while he sucked and nibbled at Yixing’s neck. Yixing had to take a few deep breaths before he gave Yifan a nod as soon as he thought he was ready for some movement. Yifan intertwined one of his hands with one of Yixing’s and held onto him, a gesture which made Yixing’s heart almost burst. He then started to experimentally rock his hips, giving Yixing a small taste of what was to come. Yifan watched Yixing closely and got encouraged to move some more when traces of pleasure flickered across his face. When the smaller finally bit his lips and moaned in pleasure Yifan pulled almost out completely only to thrust right back into him with more force than before. Yixing opened his mouth in surprise but the look on his face told the older one that he wanted him to do that again. Yifan adjusted his angle a little and went a few times more until he had finally hit the spot inside of Yixing that made him throw his head back into the sheets of the bed and let out a long moan.

 

                “That… uuuuuuh… I… aaaaah…”

 

                Yifan didn’t even give him a chance to finish as he kept pulling out and pushing right back in, picking up the pace as he felt like he couldn’t handle any more himself. Yixing didn’t hold back his moans and screams of pleasure – this was just exactly what he wanted and so badly needed. Yifan inside of him, all over him, making him feel like he never had before. When Yifan’s hips collided with Yixing’s body he pushed his own hips forward to increase the friction between them and he got pushed a little more over the edge until he just knew he wouldn’t stand one more thrust.

 

                “I’m so close – oh – GOD!”

 

                There was one final push that made Yixing reach his climax. He pressed his whole body against Yifan and cried out his name which caused Yifan to come too since Yixing moving in accordance to his movements was just so good and the fact that it had been him filling Yixing up so well only intensified the amazing feeling of his dick grinding against Yixing’s inside. With a last loud moan he came while Yixing sunk back into the mattress. Yifan cupped Yixing’s face and placed small kisses on those lips he had sucked and nibbled on before to sooth them a little. While doing so, he still rocked his hips and Yixing was somehow thankful for that. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for Yifan to pull out already – he wanted to enjoy the moment a little bit longer. To know that in this very moment, he was closer to Yifan than he had been to anyone else. He put his arms around Yifan to press his body against the other’s. They didn’t say anything until Yifan pulled out of Yixing at last and left an empty feeling inside of the younger one that eventually wandered from his lower back into his chest and he felt like crying. Yifan threw the condom away and quickly returned to Yixing who stared at the ceiling and tried to understand what was going on with him. The elder kissed his forehead and said:

 

                “Come on, let’s get you clean.”

 

                Only now Yixing realized that he had cum all over his upper body and he tried to hide the blush appearing once again on his face. Yifan was considerate enough to not mention it and pulled Yixing up to lead him into the bathroom and under the shower. The water had a pleasant temperature but Yixing still felt cold when the water drippled over his exhausted body. He stood there for a minute and then he felt Yifan’s arms that hugged him from behind and pulled him close. It was almost like Yifan was holding him together, preventing him from pouring himself onto the bottom of the bathtub. The taller one gently pressed his lips on his shoulder. Then he said:

 

                “I’m yours, Yixing.”

 

                When he had finished this sentence, the gnawing unpleasant feeling washed away with the water pouring over their bodies. Yixing grabbed Yifan’s arms and pulled them a little closer around himself.

 

▪▪▪▪

 

                Airports were probably witnesses to the most honest kisses and hugs between parting and reuniting people. At least that’s what Yixing thought when he followed Yifan through the security check and caught a glimpse of a young girl bidding goodbye to her family and boyfriend. They carried a poster, saying “Good Luck in America, Xiaoyu!” and while the girl took big and excited steps to the check in, her loved ones waved her goodbye, choking back the tears the parting caused them. Yixing was glad he didn’t have to do that. Keep standing in the departure hall and helplessly watching Yifan disappear for the gates. He was glad there was still some time.

 

                Both of them had barely slept last night. They had stayed tucked in under their blankets, tangled up with each other, sharing kisses, Yifan occasionally whispering sweet nothings into Yixing’s ear which caused the younger one bury his head in Yifan’s chest to not look at him. They had stayed like this for as long as possible before they got going with heavy feet and hearts to catch a taxi to the airport. Yixing’s flight would be leaving about an hour earlier as Yifan’s and they still had some time, but Yixing didn’t feel like eating so they simply sat down at the gate where the plane to Changsha was already in position and you could see airport staff loading suitcases into the machine. Yixing turned away because he didn’t want to see this.

 

                “What about a selfie for Tumblr?” Yifan asked and Yixing rolled his eyes.

 

                “Seriously?”

 

                “Come on, don’t be a buzzkill!”

 

                Yifan pulled him closer and held up his phone. Yixing gave in and tried hard to force a nice looking smile on his lips.

 

                “Ready?” Yifan asked when he had placed the camera into an angle that he was content with.

                Yixing murmured something the other didn’t quite catch. He interpreted this as a ‘yes’ and before he clicked the release he gave Yixing a kiss on the cheek, causing Yixing to squeal in surprise. When he saw the camera had captured this exact moment, he announced:

 

                “Perfect! This is going up on my blog!”

 

                “You are horrible,” Yixing responded but couldn’t really bring himself to be mad at Yifan, “At least do not tag it with shit like __‘I tapped that ass’__ or something…”

 

                “I might just do that!” Yifan responded with a smug smile.

 

                “Don’t you DARE!!” Yixing cried out and hit Yifan’s shoulder.

 

                “Okay, no I won’t.”

 

                Yixing wasn’t allowed to look what Yifan was typing though. Yifan told him to only look when he was back in Changsha which Yixing found extraordinarily lame but he granted Yifan’s wish and refrained from trying to catch a glimpse at the tags over the taller one’s shoulder. When Yifan was done updating his blog he let his phone slip back into the pocket of his jeans and threw an arm around Yixing. There was a middle aged man sitting opposite of them that shot them a rather awkward look but Yifan didn’t seem to care.

 

                “I’ve got an amazing idea,” He suddenly said, “Let’s not board those airplanes.”

 

                “Pfff, and then do what? Live at the Gate 21 at Taoyuan International Airport?” Yixing retorted sarcastically.

 

                Yifan clicked his tongue and shook his head as if Yixing was missing a crucial point. His grip around Yixing’s shoulder got tighter and he leaned in closer to him.

 

                “No, of course not! What I meant that we don’t board our airplanes but another airplane together. Like, there’s one leaving for London soon. Let’s have a roadtrip through Europe!”

 

                Yixing snorted at Yifan’s crazy proposal.

 

                “What, do you think I’m joking? I mean it! Just imagine: You, me and a car.”

 

                “I don’t have a driver’s license.” Yixing interrupted but Yifan had an answer to everything.

 

                “I do, but that’s not the point right now that I’m trying to make. Think of the things we could see. The places we could go! Not only London… Prague, Berlin, Rome, Paris, Madrid… doesn’t really matter where though, we’d be totally free to choose where to go when to go without anyone telling us to do so.”

 

                “So what, you’re just going to rent a van and drive around Europe and at night we roll out our sleeping bags in the back of the van?”

 

                “I’m pretty sure van sex can be a good thing.”

 

                “YOU!!”

 

                Yixing shot up and took a panic fueled look around to check whether or not anyone had heard that. In the end, it was him that had to be enduring a flight with a lot of judgmental people staring at him and that was the last thing he needed. It seemed like nobody had heard though and he relaxed a little.

 

                “So?” Yifan asked with a huge grin on his face.

 

                Yixing didn’t answer at first and thought of a good thing to say. His eyes locked with the monitor that was placed over the entrance to the jet bridge where an Air China staff member was already starting to set everything up for boarding.

 

                “I’m in. If you can get my luggage out of that airplane and two tickets for that flight to London within the next ten minutes, I’m in.”

 

                Yifan grunted.

 

                “I haven’t thought that one through, haven’t I?”

 

                “Nope. You haven’t.”

 

                The older one sighed and gave up.

 

                “Okay, then we’ll postpone that to later.” He shrugged his shoulders and right in that moment there was an announcement that the boarding for Yixing’s flight would be starting in a few minutes.

 

                Around them, most people jumped up to get in line, but Yixing remained seated, wishing that time would stop for another few minutes. 

 

                “Alright we need to get this over with,” Yifan murmured, “I better get going to my gate anyways.”

 

                Yixing sensed that Yifan tried to keep his cool and acted like none of this was affecting him but the way his voice had cracked and he nervously cleared his throat, how he buried his fingernails in Yixing’s coat and how he didn’t dare to uphold any eye contact spoke another language. It was oddly comforting to know that he wasn’t the only one who didn’t really know what to do. They got up and Yixing stood in line while Yifan slowly let go of his shoulder and Yixing immediately missed it.

 

                “Hey Xingie,” Yifan said after rambling some lame goodbye jokes, “Wanna piss some people off?”

 

                “What do you mean with th-“

 

                He couldn’t even finished the sentence since Yifan just crashed his lips against Yixing’s. Yixing tried to protest but none of it was any use and after what felt like an eternity Yifan broke away and said:

 

                “You better write me when you’re home or I’ll drag your ass down to Guangzhou.”

 

                “Don’t be such a drama queen all the time!” Yixing whined but promised to do so.

 

                When Yifan had finally left the gate with one last kiss and one last goodbye Yixing’s gaze met the one of the young woman behind him who just grinned.

 

                “Sorry about that. He’s an idiot.” Yixing mumbled while he tried to hide his own smile.

 

                “It’s okay, really.” She answered with a wink and Yixing turned around to fumble his ticket and passport out of his bag.

 

                He spent the flight in a weird state between being overjoyed about what happened and being sorrowful about it at the same time. He couldn’t quite put it into proper perspective, not on the flight, not when he landed in Changsha, not when he took the bus to his apartment and not when he opened the apartment door and Luhan greeted him cheerfully with a huge bowl of Jiaozi on his lap while he was sitting on the sofa watching a weird historical drama on Hunan TV.

 

                “How was it?” He asked eyes glued to the TV while Yixing dragged his luggage into his room.

 

                “Great!” Yixing simply said and Luhan told him that as soon as he’d be finished watching his show, he’d want to see some pictures and hear some stories and Yixing was okay with it.

 

                While Luhan was binging on his show he took the time to unpack his clothes and check his phone. He was almost rolling his eyes in annoyance when he saw all the notes popping up on his phone as soon as the wifi was stable enough to uphold a proper connection. But then he remembered that selfie and how Yifan was acting jumpy about it so he decided to go check on that.

 

_I feel blessed._

_#the adventures of xingie and egghead #yixing did not allow me to tag this with ‘I tapped that ass’ sorry peeps #what am I gonna do with my life in guangzhou now #there’s no xingie so there’s no purpose I’M CHEESY GIVE ME A MINUTE #i’m still taking donations just so you know #i’m gonna give you guys another chance #you can still fund our wedding :))))) #anyone donating is getting an invitation of course!_

 

                There was a long squeal coming out of Yixing’s throat as he immediately opened his Wechat and typed a message.

 

_You are the lamest idiot to wander this earth!!!_

 

                He actually didn’t want to add any more to it and wanted to leave it like this so Yifan would  maybe learn a little lesson but he was too soft hearted.

 

_At least you’re my idiot. But I SWEAR TO GOD. LOSE THOSE TAGS._

 

▪▪▪▪

 

                A roaring grunt made Yixing shoot up from his delirium that he had spent in for the last twenty minutes. He needed a second to collect every information and make sense of the reality unfolding in front of his eyes: He was on the couch that stood in the living room of the apartment he had been living in for the last three years now. Yifan sat on the other side of the couch, his feet awkwardly entangled with Yixing’s, laptop sitting on his lap. When he realized he had woken the younger one up he shot him an apologetic smile.

 

                “Sorry darling!”

 

                “What’s wrong?” Yixing asked while he untangled his feet.

 

                “Stupid people on Tumblr are at it again.”

 

                Yixing rolled his eyes. Yifan would never give up his blog, unlike him who had, slowly but surely, decreased his Tumblr activity and eventually had stopped caring about it at all. He wasn’t even sure if his blog was still up or if the staff had deleted it already.

 

                “I mean seriously,” Yifan nagged, “I’m still getting sent congratulations like… ugh.”

 

                The older one closed his laptop and tossed it onto the table in front of the couch while Yixing giggled.

 

                “That’s like that random post about that toaster… do you remember? That one person posted that their mother had bought a new toaster and everybody was congratulating them on getting that thing for three years or something.”

 

                Yifan tilted his head and frowned.

 

                “Xingie, are you comparing our marriage to a freaking _toaster_?”

 

                “I’m just saying,” Yixing said and let out a yawn while he sunk back into the pillow of the couch, “Maybe reblog that one post were you had to tell everyone and their dog about how I said yes to your stupid marriage proposal even though you have lost the ring at the beach and tell them to stop sending you messages about it.”

 

                “You are going to hold this against me for the rest of our lives, right?” Yifan asked and turned around to lie down next to Yixing.

 

                Their couch wasn’t really made for two people next to each other so Yifan pulled his husband over his chest so he was half lying on him.

 

                “I’m not going to stop about that anytime soon, nope.” Yixing simply answered.

 

                “Little brat.”

 

                When Yixing didn’t say anything Yifan grabbed his phone on the table and started to scroll through his blog looking for the entry Yixing had been talking about.

 

                The last years had been very crazy. Yifan had kept his promise to visit Yixing in Changsha and they had spent endless amounts of money on high speed train tickets for the next half year to see each other. During semester vacation the two had been travelling around China and when that hadn’t been enough anymore they finally had realized Yifan’s great plan about Europe and the road trip. And the van sex. Afterwards they had gotten back to China via Canada to visit Yifan’s mother where the next crazy idea had been born and Yifan moved back to Vancouver to be closer to his mother while Yixing gladly followed him. His family hadn’t really approved of their only son to move this far away, especially to be with another man, but he hadn’t listened to their concerns which had turned out to be his best decision so far. He had gotten a job as a translator while Yifan was working for a law firm. And since it was possible for them to legally get married, Yifan had proposed to Yixing on their vacation in Brazil. Needless to say he had fucked it up completely because when he had taken out the ring he did it with too much force, it slipped out of his nervous and sweaty hands and was lost for two hours at the beach. Yixing had cursed Yifan’s ass for it because they were crawling through the sand for an eternity for that ring, but he found the story so funny he was mentioning it every time there was the opportunity to do so. Yixing grinned while he thought of it and looked up into Yifan’s phone. He had found the post and reblogged it with a new message.

 

_**MR-FanXianSheng**  
I’M A MESS. I’M A FUCKING MESS. SO I WAS ABOUT TO PROPOSE TO YIXING RIGHT? AND I LOST THE FUCKING RING. I FUCKING LOST THE RING AT THE BEACH SOMEWHERE IN BRAZIL. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME._

  
_I FEEL SO BLESSED THAT THIS MAN STILL SAID YES. I AM SUCH A FAILURE._

  
_I DO NOT DESERVE HIM._

 

_**MR-FanXianSheng**  
GUYS IT’S BEEN A YEAR NOW. Stop sending me messages about this matter. Stop asking me about how our wedding night was. It was great! He is great! Everything is great!_

 

_#of course he’s still holding that proposal against me #but so far we’re not talking about divorce so I’d say things are going well so far #he’s still putting up with me phewwww #the adventures of xingie and egghead_

 

                “What did I say about those horrible tags of yours?” Yixing butted in but Yifan had already hit the reblog button.

 

                “Come on, they’re funny!”

 

                Yixing snorted into Yifan’s shirt and snuggled into his chest to continue his Sunday afternoon nap. He heard Yifan mumbling something about how Yixing surely would tell their hypothetical children about how these tags made Yixing like him in the first days – if he wouldn’t have been half asleep again already he would’ve protested and maybe asked Yifan if he even knew what ‘hypothetical’ meant, but instead he just patted Yifan’s cheek and said:

 

                “Sure, honey.”


End file.
